Building Your Confidence

There is no such thing as a confident person.

Let's face it. People are not born confident, they just aren't. Confidence may seem like an innate quality, it is not! Confidence must be cultivated. Confidence is taught, nurtured, and grows through experience.

Confidence is gained and it can be lost.

And confidence is situational. 

Becoming more confident is about knowing your stuff. Your stuff - because you can't know it all.

Knowing your topic, being familiar with the environment, honing the skills, and working at it are keys to confidence.

The effort put forth not only leads to mastering that thing but leads to mastery of self. You are the one who created you through your thoughts and your actions. Only you can do the things that will make you more confident. Here are some of my thoughts on creating confidence. Confidence is skill based.

Steps to build your confidence.

Action creates clarity. Clarity creates vision. Vision leads to projection. Projection influences perception.

Action -> Clarity

The first step is to take action - again and again. It is only through practice and hours of repetition that you become more capable. Your practice will lead to belief in self which will improve your self-esteem and sense of worth.

Practice is not about perfection. Practice does allow you to perfect(v.) your skills and you will start up the competence - confidence spiral.

As you strengthen your skills you will feel more competent, and then you will develop the clarity of what is possible for you.

I can tell you many stories of people who started something, got better at the doing, and that completely changed what they thought was possible for them. They gained confidence and clarity because they took the action that led to their competence.

Clarity -> Vision

Once you develop more clarity around your possibilities, you are better equipped to identify the next best steps to take you towards your goals. Knowing the steps is the vision that will lead you to your desired destination.

Vision is not some mystical super power. No, vision is mapping the practical next steps, where you can now see the next one and the following step that will take you closer to your success.

That vision of you succeeding is super important when undertaking any task, no matter if it is the first step or the billionth.

No matter how difficult, it is important to keep the vision going. Sometimes you have to strike a victory pose or turn up the volume on your motivational music to make your vision more tangible and exciting. Visualize your success and then go do that thing.

 Vision -> Projection.

 You will grow in your belief and confidence, as you continue to taking action, despite your many and inevitable failures. Your tenacity will not go un-noticed. As you rise to the challenges and strike things from your list those around you will notice. They will be impressed by your growth mindset and the efforts you are taking to change.

You know that you won't necessarily be good at something, or succeed the very first time. You now know that "failure" is feedback and a lesson to learn from makes you more willing to put forth the effort and this is a confidence boost. You are projecting confidence because you are not letting life get you down. You aren’t letting the inconsequential stop you.

Projection -> Perception

 Your tenacity further increases your competence and your confidence. Your confidence competence loop is spiraling upwards. Your perception of yourself has changed.

You know your stuff. You put in the time. You did not tolerate excuses or naysayers. You know what you are capable of.

You perceive yourself differently. You now know that you are a powerful being. Others do too.

The future you matters more than the you of the past. You are stronger than you thought. You are potential.  

Building Yourself Up 

 So think of a challenge and the skill required to overcome and succeed.

Get to work and know that your strengths and weakness will be revealed through your actions. You will develop the clarity through your action which helps solidify your vision. The vision will project you past the struggles and failures and you will perceive yourself as a more confident person.  

Confidence is the excitement that you will feel from knowing that no matter what the result, you will have gained greater knowledge and skills in going after what it is you really want.

Courage is needed

Sometimes the bravest thing to do is to ask for help. Getting advice and input from others allows for insight and the creation of new strategies. Confident people are not afraid to ask for assistance. New perspective and new strategy aid perseverance because new is more exciting than the same old-same old. 

This is where coaching can really help. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who believes in you even when you're still working to build your confidence? Book your complimentary coaching session.